Chapter 4: His Sexuality Book Club Review
I believe our husband’s sexuality is one of the most important areas that needs to be placed before God. In this chapter, the author pointed out how easy it is for wives to put this area as a low priority in our marriage. Not because we don’t care about that part of our lives but because of everything else that screams for attention. Work, raising children, finances, managing a home, emotional stress, sickness or just simply being exhausted. Some of us may allow weeks, months and even years to go by before catering to the sexual needs of our husbands. That is so dangerous and goes against God’s intension for marriage.
Lack of sexual intimacy can cause frequent tension in a marriage. “For a wife, sex comes out of affection and most times a wife does not want to be affectionate with a man who makes her feel angry, hurt, overworked or disappointed.” On the other hand, “for our husbands, sex is a pure need; his eyes, ears, brain and emotions get clouded if he doesn’t get that release.” Ladies, you do not want your husband facing the world day after day without that release. As God fearing or loving he may be, it is still the devils playground. “Wives, sometimes believe that sex should come after we have worked out the kinks in our marriage, which is completely backwards thinking.” The author states, “There is a much greater chance of settling the other issues if sex comes first.” I agree!
It’s so important to make sex a matter of priority in your marriage. Meeting your husband’s need and keeping an open line of communication is key to a healthy sex life. My husband and I have grown to a point where we openly discuss our needs. We see the value in talking about it, versus avoiding it. I’ll admit those discussions can be a bit uncomfortable at first but we quickly realized that we were in this marriage for life and saying what that specific sexual need is, would help prevent any temptations. I am always asking my husband about his fantasies and he does the same for me, some negotiable, others… (lol). Nevertheless, I love that we can tell each other exactly what we need.
How can you do this if you are always tired? I am a busy body, getting out of bed started to become nearly impossible. Being a workaholic started to affect my mental and emotional well-being because I was always stressed. Now, I have been more intentional about eliminating things from my list by simply reprioritizing. If I suffer from extreme burn out, so will my marriage. My marriage is certainly my top priority right after my faith. I needed to make that adjustment so that my husband would never feel neglected.
Taught sex was bad at an early age. I think for most of us Christian wives, we grew up in a household or church that preached that sex was bad for you. I struggled with seeing sex as an honorable act to my husband when we first married. I experienced extreme guilt, although, I knew it was okay. After speaking with some of the other Dope Wives most of us realized we had the same struggle in common. I had to really seek God’s worth and what it says about sexual intimacy with my husband to undo some of those negative thoughts I had about sex.
Sometimes sexual problems happen as a result of the past. Let’s pray to be set free and healed from past memories that may be causing some of the sexual challenges we face in our marriage. “Lord, keep us sexually pure in mind and body, and close the door to anything lustful or illicit that seeks to encroach upon us. Deliver us from the bondage of past mistakes. Take away anyone or anything from our lives that would inspire temptation to infidelity, in Jesus name we pray, Amen!” - Stormie
Hope this has been a blessing to you all, feel free to leave your feedback in the comment section below this blog post or in our facebook group (search Dopewives on facebook). Have you made your purchase for the book and study guide? This is truly one of those readings that you can’t just read and put down. For me it is almost like a second bible and a tool that can be used as a constant reference. If you still have not made your purchase do so now through the links included in this email for your convenience. Talk to you all next Sunday for our Chapter 5: ‘His Affection blog review.